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Writer's pictureTonille Miller

Taking Control in the New Paradigm: Become the CEO of Your Life



In modern society, traditional structures such as religious institutions, governmental bodies, corporations, traditional media, and the education system have historically shaped our values, behaviors, and identities. However, as we transition into the Age of Aquarius—a period characterized by both destruction and renewal—we are witnessing the breakdown of these old frameworks in favor of a more individual-centric paradigm. Technological advancements and the democratization of information, power, and influence are reshaping our collective consciousness, freeing us from traditional constraints and empowering us to shape our own destinies.


This transformation is evident in various spheres. The gig economy promotes a flexible and autonomous work environment, enabling individuals to define their careers on their own terms. Influencer culture decentralizes media and elevates personal branding, allowing people to become influential voices without traditional gatekeepers. Digital education broadens access to learning, making knowledge more accessible and personalized. Additionally, the move towards secular, individualized, and inclusive spiritual practices is enabling people to explore and integrate methods that align with their personal beliefs and lifestyles.


Amidst this newfound freedom, many people feel adrift, having long relied on external sources for purpose, direction, and belonging. To thrive in this era, we must cultivate a strong sense of internal authority, mission, and confidence, becoming the architects of our destinies. Central to this journey is living from our inner guidance, embracing self-sovereignty, operating with high agency, and minimizing the need for external validation. By navigating life on our own terms, we can fully realize our potential and contribute to a more empowered and enlightened collective. 


Here Are Some Ways to Get Started:


Live by an Inner Scorecard

In today's society, many base their decisions and sense of worth on external validation, conforming to the expectations of others. However, the only truly important metric is whether you live YOUR life. Bronnie Ware, in "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying," noted that the most common regret is not living life on one’s own terms. To avoid this, follow your inner scorecard, grounded in intrinsic values and standards. Living by an inner scorecard liberates you from constant comparison and the thirst for external validation, fostering deep-seated confidence to navigate life’s complexities with assurance and grace.


Don’t Do It for the Likes

What others think about you is none of your business. Most people are too preoccupied with how others are judging them to care about judging you, and even if they do, their opinions are beyond your control. Embracing this truth liberates you from seeking approval. Bernard M. Baruch wisely said, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind." You can check out my recent article on the fastest way to overcome fear, self-doubt, and the opinions of others.


Have Your Own Back

Navigating life with internal alignment and responsibility can be very challenging. This is why consistently cultivating self-belief, confidence, and courage is critical. Self-belief involves a profound trust in your abilities and potential to achieve your goals. This trust is strengthened by actions that demonstrate your capacity to overcome challenges. Each step taken towards your goals, even small ones, builds evidence of your competence and capability, thereby fortifying your self-belief. Confidence is the assurance in your judgments and qualities, enabling you to be resilient in the face of new experiences. It allows you to approach unknown situations with a sense of preparedness and stability. While external achievements can enhance confidence, true and lasting confidence is more profound when aligned with self-integrity. Self-integrity means keeping promises to yourself and acting in accordance with your values. This alignment ensures that your confidence is rooted in an authentic sense of self, rather than relying on external validation. By continually nurturing self-belief and confidence through these practices, you create a solid foundation for navigating life's challenges with internal alignment and responsibility.


Take 100% Responsibility

Though we can't control every aspect of our lives, embracing complete accountability gives us the strength to bounce back from challenges and make a real difference. It's about ditching the victim mindset and stepping into the role of the main character in our lives. This means actively shaping our future, finding solutions to obstacles, and taking charge of our actions. Taking full responsibility for our lives reshapes how we see and interact with the world, turning setbacks into chances for growth. Remember, you hold the pen to your life's narrative and have the ability to craft a journey aligned with your passions, values, and sense of fulfillment.


Be a High-Agency Person

People who achieve extraordinary results and are among the top 0.01% in their respective fields all share a crucial trait – they possess high agency. High agency is the quality of actively pursuing goals without waiting for perfect conditions. People with high agency overcome adverse circumstances through bold actions, focusing on what they can control: their actions. Here are some ways they do this:


  • Challenging the status quo. High-agency people question social norms and regularly ask, “Why?" They hold strong convictions on important topics, think independently, and act on their curiosity. 

  • Be a caffeinator, not a vampire. High-agency individuals are caffeinators who energize others and make them feel capable of anything, in contrast to energy vampires who leave people feeling drained and lethargic.

  • Reality Distortion Field. Steve Jobs epitomized high agency by believing in his power to influence reality more than conventional wisdom. High-agency people create energy and inspiration through their actions and words, seemingly out of thin air, which in turn inspires others to follow.

  • Multi-dimensional. These people are not easy to put in a box. Think about the banker who DJs on weekends (hello David Solomon), the software engineer whose side hustle is oil painting, or the athlete who moonlights as a coder. Their actions and beliefs defy stereotypes, demonstrating their ability to think and act independently.

  • Lack of limiting beliefs. Think about it, if you don’t believe in yourself, why would anyone else? “I can’t do it” isn’t part of a high-agency person’s vocabulary. No challenge is too hard or complex. They always believe they will find a way and often do. They are radically optimistic, which typically manifests in them accomplishing whatever they try to do.



How have you stepped into the CEO role in your life?

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